yer-ru-sha-lime

Some Jerusalem fun facts to consider (fresh from wikipedia):

In Hebrew, Jerusalem is pronounced Yiroshalime

Jerusalem is somewhere around 6000 years old beating Jaffa by a cool 2000 years

Jerusalem has been besieged 23 times, attacked 52 times, and captured/recaptured 44 times

Jerusalem has been destroyed twice

Okay okay okay; there's a lot going on in Jerusalem. We took an official tour so we wouldn't miss anything. The company assembled a motley crew: we had a large contingent of French people - two of whom I will be referring to as the Pinks - along with a couple of Americans who asked a lot of obvious questions. A lucky squad, us. Naomi informed me that the tour guides spent some time discussing us in Hebrew - she's like a spy in this country! I'm going to step-by-step this tour because there was a lot of interest. I brought out the Canon to help myself fit in as a tourist while Naomi faithfully documented with the little digital for viewers like you. We forgot to dump the Canon's pictures before we left IC so I spent some time methodically deleting 600 pictures of our dogs.

The younger Pink decided to start the trip off right by vomitting into a plastic bag and then holding it in her lap like a newly purchased goldfish. It smelled fantastic. Our tour went for the jugular. We ascended the Mount of Olives where Jesus went skyward and got a view of the Old City. (Jerusalem is a huge city with an old city built in the center and surrounded by a massive wall. The old city is where the action is.) From there we could see sites where all three monothiestic religions began. And a camel. And a swarm of people trying to sell us stuff. There was a scenic lookout, but otherwise this was just a typical neighborhood. So into the Old City we go. The Pinks got lost and we had to go find them.

The rule in the Old City is simple. If you have money and you want to build a house, feel free, but you must pay to have archeolgists dig up the site first. If they find stuff then yay Jerusalem but sucks to be you. The Old City is old. The Jewish quarter however, was recently rebuilt after it was destroyed (because that's what Jerusalem does - it get's destroyed) in 1948 by Jordan (not Whalen). The tour showed off the oldest of the five gates into the city, the something something Gate. The gate has a full flight of stairs down to it, and there is a sub-gate with another flight of stairs going down to IT. The guide pointed out that this is because everytime something gets built it's over top of something else. In a 6000 year old town that's a lot of layers. It pays to keep this in mind as you go because things that were once at street level, like older streets, are now in pits. Things that were once high up on a hill, like the crucifixion, are now up a short flight of stairs.

The Church of the Holy Sepulcher (Golgatha)

The last five stations of the cross. This area is run by Greek Orthodox, but the church errected here actually has wings for five separate churches. They have relics ALL OVER this church, and they are all adorned with amazingly ornate decor and lines of worshippers/tourists. Naomi and I walked up to where Jesus was crucified, where he was cleaned after dying, where he was buried, and where Mary watched the whole thing. The whole church was quite intense, as were many of the visitors who would lay themselves prostrate upon these things. Because we are who we are, Naomi and I also got a nice series of pictures trying to open a HUGE oak door.

Wailing Wall (Western Wall)

This experience is different from the Christian one. The wall is a happening place to be. For those not in the know; when old Israel was in existence Jerusalem was the capital and Soloman built a temple. It was destroyed, so the Jews built a Second Temple. The romans came and knocked that one over. All that's left is a wall. The Jews have stated that they won't go into the lower part of the temple until the messiah comes, so the pray through the wall into the Holiest of Holies. There were easily a thousand Jews from various backgrounds and countries, and me. The wall is segregated so Naomi and I parted ways. You write a wish on a piece of paper and stuff it into the wall. I wrote my wish (not telling) and brought it all the way down and realized I was the only one without a kippah (Yamulka in yiddish). I was already bristling with fear about breaking some taboo and being beaten by a mob I went back and got a rent-a-kippah cardboard thing that my mohawk fought valiently to reject. The wall is filled with people praying and reading the Torah at it. Since the Torah is the word of God it seems a bit like getting a Stephen King book and then going to his house and reading it out loud to his front door, but I'm no theologist. I stuffed my paper in the wall triumphantly and walked maybe three feet before I was stopped. Shit! They know I'm a fraud! The man took my hand, asked me where I was from, and then offered to say a prayer with me at the wall. Couldn't hurt. So he did, and showed me the actions and gave me a tutorial and then asked for money. I just don't blend in around here.

The Pinks were late getting to the bus and held up the tour.

Dome on the Rock

Not so much a tourist playground so we saw it at a distance. It's fancy.

The Pinks were late getting to the bus and held up the tour.

Yad ViShem

Literally Hand and Name. The Holocaust Museum. It would be a further breech of the levity of my blog to go into detail, but it was very moving. The most moving part was at the end when you go into an enormous round room and they have floor to ceiling shelves of books with names of people who died and a giant, gaping hole in the floor that looks 50' down into a reflecting pool. You could look up names: 1002 Slutzkis and 102 Spalters (Rina's maiden name).

The Pinks were late getting to the bus and held up the tour.

Captions:

1. Naomi at the Western Wall

2. Me at the tomb of Jesus (the lighting is ruined by the flash, but it was very dark and pious)

3. Naomi wearing the biggest Synagog in Jerusalem as a hat

4. Me with camel